5 Signs That You are a Manipulator in Your Relationship

There’s really no nice way to say it, but manipulation in a relationship is a form of abuse. Altering the way someone thinks and behaves based on what you want is manipulative behavior, and it’s wrong. It causes them to fear losing you or disappointing you to the point that they are willing to be unhappy with who they are and continuously try to change themselves in order to make you happy.

If by this point you find yourself getting defensive, you might just be a manipulator in your relationship. Here are five signs to help you know for sure.

You’re Skilled at Laying on the Guilt Trips

Sometimes it’s just easier to make somebody else feel guilty about a situation than to admit you were wrong. Or maybe you don’t like the fact that your partner spends so much time with their friends, so you make them feel guilty until they feel obligated to stay home. This is a form of manipulation.

Your Needs are More Important than Theirs

In healthy relationships, couples compromise to ensure both of their needs are met. However, if you feel like your needs are more important than your partner’s and you don’t feel it necessary to compromise, you might have a problem.

You Aren’t Afraid to Shame Them

By using sarcasm or subtly putting them down, you make your partner feel unworthy or inadequate. In these cases, they will often let you have your way because of how you’ve made them feel.

You Get Upset When They Want to Do Things with Other People

If you find yourself getting upset when your partner makes plans with their family or friends, you need to realize that they’re allowed a life of their own. The two of you have a relationship together, but you both still have your separate lives. That includes family, friends, and even hobbies.

You Get Angry if You Don’t Get Your Way

All of these characteristics come down to the same thing. Manipulators are willing to do whatever it takes to get their way, and they know how to do it without looking like the bad guy. If you have trouble accepting the fact that you aren’t the only person whose feelings matter in your relationship, it’s time to take a step back.

Manipulators aren’t always conscious of what they’re doing. Some people learn the art of manipulation from their childhood environment, and some use it to mask their own vulnerabilities and inadequacies. Regardless of the origin or reason, if you recognize any of these traits within yourself, it’s not too late to make a change.