7 Things All Secretly Want in a Relationship
Men and women may have a lot in common when it comes to relationships, but the way a man looks at how well their relationship is faring will differ from the way a woman looks at things. Many a confused woman has been overheard uttering the phrase, “What do men really want?” This article is designed to shed some light on this subject in order to try and answer this age-old question.
Psychologists have discovered men and women have different relationship wants and needs. When men find themselves involved in a relationship, there are seven essential needs they look to have met. If their basic emotional needs are neglected, men will emotionally, mentally, and (eventually) physically withdraw from the relationship. In order to increase the odds of having a successful, fulfilling relationship for both partners, a woman should take the time to really understand their guy.
To really understand what a man wants from his partner, pay close attention to the following needs all men have in common.
What Men Secretly Want in a Relationship
1. A Physical Connection – Needing to have a physical connection with their partner should not be confused with a man needing to have $ex all of the time. Men enjoy making non-$exual, physical contact with their partner. Whether it is a touch on the arm in passing or holding their partner’s hand, men see these physical actions as a form of reassurance that their partner is thinking of them and finds them attractive. Men need that reassurance just like women do.
2. A $exual Connection – Men and women communicate differently. Women seek connection through the use of words. Women believe that communication, via talking, is the way to connect with and understand their partner. Men, on the other hand, have an easier time connecting with their partner on a more physical level. A man that has a difficult time talking about his feelings is better at showing his emotions through $ex.
3. Respect – Men have a huge need to feel respected by their partner. Men associate respect with love and acceptance. In a man’s mind, a woman can not truly love and accept them if the don’t respect them.
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4. Emotional Int!macy – It is not easy for a man to let down his guard and show his vulnerable side. Men are taught to be “tough”, to “man-up” and not show weakness. As a result of this type of thinking, many boys grow up thinking that it makes them somehow “weak” if they let their emotions show. If a man is to share his tender side with his partner, he has to be made to feel it is safe for him to do this. In his mind, he has to know his emotions won’t be used against him.
5. Praise – Men crave approval. To them, approval means acceptance. If a man does not feel that he is fully accepted, he will not be able to form a healthy connection with his partner. Men thrive on praise, from being told they smell good, to being told they are a great provider and more. A man can end up feeling taken for granted if he isn’t told that he is appreciated. Failing to give praise can make a man feel secretly resentful.
6. Independence – Most men in relationships think and react differently from women in relationships. Women crave togetherness while men need more space. Men are taught to be leaders, independent thinkers, and problem solvers. They don’t like to be smothered by their partner. Men need the freedom, the time, and the space to pursue their own hobbies and hang out with their friends. They also crave time by themselves to sort out their thoughts and feelings.
In spite of the misinformation and stereotypes being circulated and enforced concerning the male psyche, having a healthy relationship doesn’t necessarily mean women have to understand ‘why’ their guy is like this. They just need to give him the space he needs.
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7. Security – All of these things combined give men what they need the most in a relationship: security. Men need to feel secure in both their romantic and non-romantic relationships. They need to know they are loved, accepted, and respected for everything they are, for both the good and the not-so-great aspects of their personalities and quirks.
Even though men and women secretly want love, respect, and int!macy in their relationships this list demonstrates how each gender interprets these things in differently. For those who want to take their understanding of what men secretly want a step further, I recommend reading this “What Men Secretly Want” review which looks at the science and psychology behind what drives men and the way they act.
