The act of marriage is a joyous act, the legal and formal union between a man and a woman, the publicizing of their love and devotion towards one another. It all sounds so perfect and hopeful until one day when you find yourself wondering if you have made the right decision or not? How does one know for sure they have picked their perfect life partner? Are their signs to look for?
The article below is written by Hayley Hobson, an amazing author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates and holistic nutritional expert. She helps transform her clients life and coaches them to a better and healthier state of mind and lifestyle. She combines cutting edge understanding and techniques and her unique and intelligent style not only heals her patients physical bodies but also their hearts and minds as well. She studied at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and since then has become an expert in her field helping many achieve their goals and to live a better accomplished life.
Having and maintaining a healthy relationship is not easy, it is something that takes time and effort. Educating yourself is key , having all the right tools and seeking guidance is important in establishing a longterm meaningful relationship. This article will give you some very important information and signs to look for and help you take a good look at your relationship:
I effed up my first marriage, I’ll admit it. I’ve been married twice. When my first husband and I were first married, I thought he was the perfect man for me. We were SO in love, SO passionate. I was so caught up in how good it all felt that I didn’t realize until the marriage was over that I had never really been committed to the relationship, I had never thought about it as a long-term thing. I look back on how self-absorbed I got, how obsessed I was with competing in triathlons and realize that we had drifted apart way before our relationship ended. The truth is, once the novelty of how amazing we were together wore off, there really wasn’t anything left. We were just too different. There were dead giveaways early on that, had I been paying closer attention, I would have known that we never should have gotten married to begin with.
Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE my husband and family now. I really do. And I’ve noticed a sharp difference in this marriage. We are both working towards a shared future. There’s a WE and and US that we’re building. It’s not just about the toe-curling passion or late nights lost in each other. It’s about what we’re building for tomorrow, and years to come.
When my first marriage dissolved into nothingness, I had to ask myself some really hard questions about what my role in that relationship was all about. I realized I was the one who messed it up. That’s a hard pill to swallow, but I did. Looking back, there were signs all along the way that we shouldn’t be together, but the depth of the emotion we shared blinded me to all that.
Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Hayley creates lifestyle transformations by coaching her clients to strengthen, nourish and evolve through the cycles and shifts in life. Combining cutting edge understanding in all three disciplines due to years of anatomical study and dietary theory, Hayley’s approach leverages their blended benefits and results. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening–empowering her client’s to heal not only their physical bodies, but their hearts and minds as well. Hayley studied at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, continues her studies with David Wolfe, raw food expert and is an essential oil expert in her own right. She is a doTERRA Certified Pure Essential Oil Diamond Director and a Pangea Beauty Ecologist. Her insights and articles can also be found on her blog, Elephant Journaland Islaorganics. She has also been featured in Pilates Stylemagazine, Natural Health magazine and Triathlete Magazine. She has fun running and playing in the mountains with her husband, former world-ranked triathlete, Wes Hobson and their two beautiful daughters, Makenna and Madeline . To learn more about her nutritional courses, events she’s hosting and custom programs go to hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter or Pinterest
My husband and I are 13 years apart. We have some of the same interests, but more so then not I find myself wanting to hang out with other people and thinking about being single. I do love him but we ate two very different people. I don’t know if we will stay together but I guess if we do it will be a sacrifice on my part.
I thing then I’m with a wrron person
My life was not easy
I’ve been with my boyfriend 4 years, and I’ve gone from hopeful, miserable, contemptible, and now indifferent. He’s older by 13 years, has a different upbringing, and is content to stay in one place. I’ve become resentful for a lifestyle he’s brought me to, that I honestly can’t stand. I’m a city girl, and I love to travel and try new things. He’s needy, and I don’t have the energy to baby him. We have children and work. I feel like I get nothing in return. I close him out because he takes all the best of me and I feel empty, bc he doesn’tfill me back up. I don’t want to live like that anymore, and I know soon ill have to leave. We have so many long conversations and arguments about these things, I’m exhausted. I just want to feel happy again. I was happier single than now. He is an amazing father. That’s the reason I’ve stayed so long. I know its like standing on an edge, either way I fall will be hard.
What if you fit the signs, but everytime you try to separate your chest physically hurts? 4 out of 5 are us. But i cant picture life without him.
After reading this it makes so much sence I was with engaged to my ex for 4 years on and off we lived together not yet married it was all about the sex we hardly spoke .. He used to leave me out of his activities and when I wanted his attention it was a big deal to him and in his eyes I “HAD” to understand that these activities was his time away from me…. Anyways long story short he became very abusive and started hitting me , I then left the relationship. A year later I met my new man and have been with with him for a year now and just in this year alone iv noticed that we are a team we work together and solve problems together , it’s about us not just the one person. I know it’s still early days but the relationship iv had with this man is so much loving and better then with someone that was so self centered. I know I’m with the right person now.
And after reading this has now opened my eyes that it wasn’t me that effed up my last relationship and in fact it was him… And I just wanted his attention…. But it just pushed me to something so much better 🙂
I just ended my marriage..and unfortunately all the signs were there. I miss him terribly right now, particularly with the holidays..but I was not interested in him sexually anymore, and I preferred spening the weekends training for ultramarathons and going for drinks with my friends on weekdays. I cant believe how much I miss him now, but honestly I dont know if Im just confused with missing the company and stability of being married and the daily routines. I dont know how to get over how I feel but I hope I can be happy one day.
Time will heal, even if it doesn’t feel that way now… Sometimes are emotions are so strong, you can’t imagine anything being able to eliminate it,…but time will do that!! I was in the same position and just recently started feeling good..(been split now, for almost two years!!) So it takes awhile…don’t get discouraged and don’t go back!!! You will be happy again!! I’m sure it will be sooner than later too!! : ). Good luck to you!
Hi,
Thanks for writing about relationships. It’s a topic that touches all of us so deeply and troubles most of us at some point in our lives. It’s really inspiring how the author of the article was seeking to learn from her experiences. I just have one objection – mainly with the title. To identify some main issues in a relationship to me seems healthy and insightful. However to then boil it down to the conclusion that you’re with the wrong person, just because of the presence of these issues, I think is an unhelpful way to look at things. It sends the message that these issues were not ‘addressable’, and ultimately implies that the answer to these relationship problems is to find the ever elusive ‘right person for you’.. which can feel a bit like Alice in wonderland chasing the rabbit down the hole.
In focusing on wrong and right, rather that ‘what’ (the hell is going on in my relationship?) this perspective can prevent us from actually addressing our own baggage and wounds (an endeavour which would quite likely have wonderful effects on our relationship). Now I am not saying that all relationships should work, I’m just saying let’s not take what seems to be the easy way out and blame it on a ‘bad match’ of personalities, and deny ourselves the chance to learn, grow, and change from our relationship experience. Yes, it requires brutal honesty.. but aren’t we (and our next relationships) worth it?
Reading this confirms that I am with the right guy
these 5 things confirm that I am with the right person . ❤️
Reading this makes me think, i am young i am only 20 but been with my boyfriend for going on 3 years and we have an almost 1 year old so reading this really make me think about the future and relationship i am in now
after reading your article signs your with the wrong guy, means I’m with the wrong guy. Have had feelings Iam with the wrong guy for a while lately and all your 5signs is exactly like us.
My first marriage was like this and I thought we was in love but his friends became more important than me. Now I am with someone who cannot stand being away from me and we talk daily but he is deployed. He was on his way home and is supposed to be here but not. I don’t know if he changed his mind about coming to see me again or what he says he loves me and I am his world and we made all these plans together but it seems he is avoiding me. Every time I tell him I want to break up he cries and begs me not to go that he is lost without me that he is sorry for acting the way he dies. I just want your opinion about the second one is he right for me or not. We think about each other none stop and when we talk to each other its like we r falling more in love with each other. Just the stress of being apart is getting to us. Please give me your opinion.